you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
