I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
