Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize