bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
