be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
