Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
did i walk over a car last night?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
