whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
