btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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