you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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