Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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