Walk of Shame. In a state park.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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