how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
