Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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