im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
should my penis look like a turkey
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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