apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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