I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
