There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
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