it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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