you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
