discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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