She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
