First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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