He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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