is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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