You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
