Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
