I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
