he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
