I love black thongs
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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