he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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