just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got inside last night via doggy door
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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