i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
