you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
only you would photoshop your dick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
