We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
