Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
