I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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