It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize