talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
