Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
