i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
