woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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