i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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