omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
