I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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