I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
