i just wanna soil my oats bro
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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