She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
