dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
