he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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