this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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