apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
