you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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