you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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