My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
