Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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