That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
