booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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