I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
