she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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