Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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