Pregnant stripper...not hot.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
