hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
